In September of 2013, the phenomenally popular Twitter account @Horse_ebooks, which had amassed over 200,000 followers with its frequent nonsensical tweets that somehow seemed laden with meaning (although rarely had anything to do with horses), “quit” the Internet. What I’m sure might surprise most real horse people, is not only the number of followers, but the passion they displayed for Horse_ebooks’ non sequiturs and textual mash-ups. Merchandise was sold, copycats proliferated, and when it ended, those who loved it mourned publicly: “Horse_ebooks is over,” they posted. “I can’t deal.”
To sum up a long and convoluted story, @Horse_ebooks at one time belonged to a Russian Web developer who set up the account to drive traffic to his e-book site, e-library.net (where you could indeed purchase books about horses). Two men, Jacob Bakkila and Thomas Bender, acquired the account in 2011 and proceeded to attempt to tweet like a “bot” (those annoying automated programs that deliver spam and sales links via social media—have you noticed how their tweets and posts never make any sense?). The result was what many interpret as a form of “Net art”: Performing as a “spambot,” Bakkila pulled random bits of text from various places, and used these “found objects” to make an often semi-incoherent statement.
What seems mildly unfair about the whole story is the masquerade (albeit a shallow one) as a purveyor or fan of horses and/or horse books and/or horse ebooks! And so, with a nod to those who dreamt up the concept, and an up-front acknowledgment that “I’m no bot,” TSB would like to assure the world that the regular old, for-real horse books (and horse e-books) we publish can provide 140-character-or-less quips that are just as funny, just as meaningful, and just as “art”-worthy. Feel free to print any of these on a t-shirt!
Should you happen to feel yourself falling, now is the time (The Riding Horse Repair Manual)
The pocket-size device is…devoid of meaning and absent personal or social relevance. (Dressage with Mind, Body & Soul)
He shines like polished mahogany. The room was quiet. (Crown Prince)
Use the right for delicate work and left for opening jars that have lids stuck. (Dressage for the Not-So-Perfect Horse)
Without awareness and control, your legs fall Plus it does not require equipment. (The Riding Doctor)
I didn’t realize it was windy, and I didn’t know the judge was so mean (Pressure Proof Your Riding)
Fancy would have run me over just a few days ago (Clinton Anderson’s Downunder Horsemanship)
Set the spray interval and duration to fit your fly problem. More and more people are working at home (Horse Housing)
Small and straightforward in case you encounter resistance–see p. 315 for a packing list. (Modern Eventing with Phillip Dutton)
He needs to go on straight lines as well as curves (The Rider’s Guide to Real Collection)
My demands to avoid the work becoming onerous and demoralizing. There was no door or passageway that led to any other room. (Building a Life Together—You and Your Horse)
Look sleepy, or bored, or both. We sort of know what we want. (The Alchemy of Lightness)
Your dollar will fly away, and you’re out! (Games for Kids on Horseback)
Left front, right front, left front, right front, STOP. Like a well-oiled hinge. (3-Minute Horsemanship)
Patience is always more productive than punishment, Always go a little ways past home (Good Horse, Bad Habits)
In such groups, there are rarely big battles for “top spot” on the phone, make small talk (Know You, Know Your Horse)
Just kidding. We’ve had enough caffeine for one day. (Riding Barranca)
WILLING SUBMISSION IS NOT WHAT IT SHOULD BE. (Dressage Solutions)
But then his whole world suddenly collapses. Everything goes smoothly. (Lorenzo: The Flying Frenchman)
Never design a course with a TURN out of a COMBINATION!! (Jump Course Design Manual)
With the Monkey and Reverse Monkey, you have learned how. (Centered Riding 2)
You cannot feel the ball because it is deep inside the socket. (40 5-Minute Jumping Fixes)
The small misdemeanors, and the big ones will go away. (The Horse Agility Handbook)
NOW you are off on a tangent to your intended curved line! (Nature, Nurture and Horses)
Opinions vary as to the effectiveness of elastic (Suffering in Silence)
Captured accidentally! Leaning his rear end on a bucket! (Where Does My Horse Hurt?)
You have a better chance of being bitten by the roping bug in the West. (The Smart Woman’s Guide to Midlife Horses)
You can read these, and many other brilliant and meaningful turns of phrase in the horse books available from the TSB online bookstore.